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Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

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Heels are hot. Kisha w ke7el saye7 are hot ba3ad. Yeah, kaify. Anyways, so today is the day of my first Dramatics quiz. I've taken on a lot of characters before: the prince in Cinderella, Juliet from Romeo and Juliet, Juliet's nurse from Romeo and Juliet, a hairdresser, etc. So, I've done acting for a grade. It's fun. I'd rather act than sit down and take a test for a change.

So, for this monologue quiz, I decide to go for something from Macbeth mainly because I feel like doing a psychotic role. I haven't done one of those. I'm curious of how well I can pull it off. I submit the following two monologues:

LADY MACBETH 25 Out, damned spot! Out, I say!—One, two. Why, then, 'tis time to do 't. Hell is murky!—Fie, my lord, fie! A soldier, and afeard? What need we fear who knows it, when none can call our power to account?—Yet who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him.

MACBETH: Is this a dagger which I see before me, The handle toward my hand? Come, let me clutch thee! I have thee not, and yet I see thee still. Art thou not, fatal vision, sensible To feeling as to sight? or art thou but A dagger of the mind, a false creation Proceeding from the heat-oppressèd brain? I see thee yet, in form as palpable As this which now I draw.

I wake up, and I decide to go for Lady Macbeth. I pick a long black dress with gold lining, put on heels, and take a towel off the rack in the guest bathroom. When the time comes, I volunteer to go (third person to act I think). I don't know how well I can pull it off. I shut everyone out. I made supposed eye-contact with people's foreheads instead of their eyes, and I wipe and curse the nonexistant blood.

Did I pull off the role of a psychotic woman? I don't know, but I enjoyed the class. People forgot lines and didn't show it. People forgot lines and showed it. People picked weird roles. A mother playing with her kids? Seriously? Oh, and I have to say, the number of people who did my-husband/wife/lover-cheated/dumped-on me/me was just too much. What happened to variety? Why would people enjoy such roles? I think they are boring.. One or two of those would have been enough!