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[WARNING] MAJOR RANT AHEAD!
I am so frustrated. Seriously. Two bad days in a row! Two very crappy draining days in a row.
Day 1.
I oversleep but insist that I look good for school. So, I make the effort of wearing something nice. I go to school to have my professor gasp at me not starting the research writing process for one of my classes. Then, he gives us something to make thirty five word notes on for five marks. Seriously?
I spent the rest of my school day worry about projects, midterms, and papers. Then, I spent the day after the school day to do what? Worry about my three best friends who are all going through some kind of shite. Add to all that worrying, three hours of barfing a McDonald's meal while crying because I'm scared shitless of throwing up, working on a paper until past midnight, and arguing with my mother on which social obligations I should attend this week.
Day 2.
I set my alarm for 4.30am, so I can study for my Earth & Universe midterm which is in Arabic. Because I'm absolutely drained, I silence the alarm while I'm asleep. Hmm.. Let's see what that insignificant event does to the rest of the day. Because I shut off the alarm, I couldn't reset it to wake up for my morning class. I wake up at 7.40am. I fall off my bed from the end that is opposite of the pillows. My class is at 8am. I grab clothes from off the floor and put them on. I rush out of the house. I forgot to print the paper I stayed up working on. Fun, isn't it?
I get to class at 8.30am. Professor asks me for the title of my topic. I didn't choose a topic, Sir. He gasps again and tells me to give him "a definite title tomorrow without fail." Then, he reminds me that outlines are due on Thursday. And the paper is due on the 27th. Deep breath.
I leave the class to study for the midterm, but I can't concentrate because of all the stuff I have to do. I go to class, present an oral progress report on a project, leave early, print my paper at the jam3eya, and head to Khaldeya to take my midterm. I submit my paper and get an exam paper in return. I look it over... SEVENTY FREAKIN' QUESTION TO DO IN LESS THAN AN HOUR. Mu sij! Oh, and the professor kept reminding me not to write in English. I didn't do well at all. I wrote half of the answers in English. Example of question and answer:
Q: Ma heya elnjoum elsayara?
A: They move.
Anyways, done with the exam, absolutely pissed. I get the midterm result for my favorite class ever. I know I could've aced it, but I didn't because I was having a bad day that day. And now, here I am. Afraid to eat in case I puke, working on choosing a topic and starting an outline, worrying about a response I have to submit before Thursday, and thinking of how much of a bitch I've been for not being able to be there fully for my friends.
And to top it all off, I think I've added one of the worst feelings ever to my list of worst feelings. Here it is:
It's when you really want something for someone you love, but they can't seem to have it, and you can't do anything about it. Basically, it's being helpless knowing that if only you could do something, you wouldn't think about it twice even if it cost you the world. But at the end of the day, there's nothing that you can do..
