Marx

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

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The Transcendental Female*

She could not help but feel excited about reading something she can completely relate to. She wakes up early Friday morning to the page she opened her photocopied package to last night. She has always had a feminist in her, and that led her to believe that every female is born with that side. As a female grows, she either submits to the patriarchal society she lives in, or she nurtures the feminist within and takes on the challenge other women have started before her.
The introduction of the assigned reading triggers her already established annoyance for fairy tales. Since she turned four, her parents have been subjected to an interrogation after reading her such stories. Why does it always have to be the prince who picks the princess? Why can't the princess save herself? Why isn't there a monster instead of a witch? Her parents have soon given up and bought her books that were not fairy tales. Stories she can read alone without having to interrogate them, but she always found someone to ask. Her uncle has become the usual victim. Soon, he introduced her to the world of Hans Christian Andersen, where there is only a subliminal partially dangerous happily ever after.
As the reading gets more and more interesting, she realizes that she is merely reading beliefs she has previously attacked from all sides before defending in her somewhat opposing society. She has argued that marriage should not be a female's ultimate social goal in countless gatherings. Women should know themselves and feel complete before allowing the presence of a man. She remembers all her friends who have been done wrong by men only to become a shame to the female race by exclaiming that they might not be able to find a man closer to perfect that the one that has made them feel worthless. It is true what her wiser female relatives say, all men are really just one man.
She agrees that gender discrimination spread through religion. After all, the most popular books are holy ones, and what do these advocate? The infamous Biblical story that blames Eve for the fall of humanity and the theory that Eve was created from one of Adam's ribs are only a couple. Furthermore, people do not question stories presented religiously; therefore, they believe them and blindly advocate them whether they are true or altered to suit male dominance.
Proud that she knows most of the names that are considered leading feminist activists, she is even more proud that these women unite in the idea that women should be equal to men, regardless of their background and lifestyle. She really believes that if that goal is accomplished, and it will take centuries, the world would be a better place. Women will learn to live a life that will contribute "to the world of reality and not to the world of men."
She giggles at the idea that she is a "madwoman in the attic" to male chauvinists. What would all the sexist critics they have previously discussed in class think of this? It is a theory that disputes them all. Women to them are inferior to men, but in this theory, the script is definitely balanced if not flipped.
She smiles as she finishes the reading, realizing that feminists are wrongly perceived as haters of men. They do not hate men; they just despise those who think they have the right to take away their freedom of choice of lifestyle because of their gender. She seats herself before a blank document and places her female hands to type a response entitled The Transcendental Female. For once, she does not leave the title for last.

*One of my theory assignments for Z and N.