"Wain elnakhwa?" -C.

Here's why I love kids...

Little K: Laish labsa qalb el7ub? (Why are you wearing a heart?)

Amethyst: Le2ani a7ebik;* (Because I love you;*)

Little K: 7ata ana a7ebes;* (I love you, too;*)

M: Fi dodo meni! (You're hurt there!)

Amethyst: Adri *Pouts* (I know)

M kisses the bruise: Al7een etrou7 eldudu:) (It'll go now)

Amethyst: Chan yrou7 eltheeb w ygoul 7ag elkharoof, "Ra7 akleeek!" (Then the wolf went to the sheep and said, "I'm going to eat you!")

Little K makes claws out of his hands: Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawr!

K: Saway chedi wayh elsmecha elfish. (Do the fish face)

Amethyst sucks her cheeks in and does the fish face..

K: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Meta etrou7een elba7ar? (When will you go to the sea?)

Amethyst watching Horton Hears a Who with Little K, M, and K.

Little K: Shoofay, al7een et6ee7 3alaih elshyara! Wa3alaya.. *puts hand on cheek* (Look, now the tree will fall on him! Poor guy..)

---

For everyone who is wondering who A is, A is for real. A exists. A is the person who made me who I am now. If it weren't for A, I'd probably be suicidal. Some of the readers know who A is, and for those who don't.. You don't have to. It's okay if A is a mystery to you. And so:

Amethyst: How come you never cry?

A: How come you always cry?

Amethyst: I don't cry. How come you never cry?

A: There's no point in crying. I cry on the inside.

Amethyst: There is.. You let things out. You can't keep everything inside.

A: I thought you didn't cry.

Amethyst: I don't.

---

What freaks you out about yourself?

"What are you all about?" -C.

A: Why do you think a lot?
Amethyst: I don't know.
A: Nothing is for no reason.
Amethyst: I know.
A: So, why do you think so much?
Amethyst: It's normal to think about things that concern you or people you love and care about, and there always has to be someone going through something.
A: Right.
Amethyst: This book is funny.
A: Radaina 3ala the book?!
Amethyst: Wallah! 7ada ytha7ek!
A: Drop the book and look at me.
Amethyst: Okay?
A: You need to get a grip.
Amethyst: I know. I will when I get back.
A: No, you need to get a grip now, before you lose it completely.
Amethyst: I know.
A: Red lights like that, can't count, a3sab, excessive thinking, sleepless nights, not eating.. Get a grip.
Amethyst: Inshallah:)
A: No fake smiles. Not with me, anyway.
Amethyst: Okay
A: What the hell is going on with you?
Amethyst: Nothing. I just feel misplaced. Like I'm in the wrong time and place?
A: No, elaborate..
Amethyst: I don't feel like it. You want food?

Lesson learned: No matter what, people who read you can do it all the way. You can't fake it. You got them used to knowing everything about you. And when you decide to withdraw, it scares them. And it also scares you.

---

Randomly:

No more school from 8-4

Finals will be over on the 5th!

I need a massage.

I already miss my jam3a buddies;(

Fishbowl is funny;p

I really miss J;*

I.Need.Sleep. Pills?

...

"Salamat" -C.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

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Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

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Tagged by Balqees

ID

Name: Amethyst
My friends call me: ..different things;p
My Nickname(s): Too many, the best of which are Butterfly and Angel Eyes;*
Birthday: Feb 2nd, 1989
Major: Engilsh Literature
Job Title: Student

FAVES

Boys name: Hmm.. I don't have a favorite.
Girls name: Fajer:)
Perfume: Irresistable (and Amethyst;*)
Fruit: Bananas and pineapple
Veggie: Nothing comes to mind;\
Fast food place: Currently McD's;p
Favorite cartoon character: Didn't watch cartoons.. *Cough*
Animal: Serpents
Ice Cream: Chocolate <3




HAVE YOU EVER?!


Bungee jumped: Yeah, and loved it!
Used someone: Maybe, but I hope not;\
Had bloody nose: Once
Played truth or dare: Lol, yes! Countless times;p
Put your tongue on a frozen pole: No
Been in a physical fight: Yes;p
Knocked on wood: Yeah!
Broken a bone: Yes;\
Broken the law: A bit too many times..


LAST TIME

Laughed and why? Around ten minutes ago, my friend was umm.. playing around with a concept;p
Cried and why? I'm not answering that.
Hugged someone and whom ? My mom, around two hours ago..
Recieved a call and from whom ? A, around 20 minutes ago..
Used a pen and what did wrote ? At like fourish, "Enjoy, Darling!" <- Our housemate wrote me a note to tell me that she borrowed some books, and I wrote back on the same note.
Lied and whats the truth ? Said I was okay when I'm really not;p
Recieved a message and from whom ? Just now, from N.
Took a shower: Around four hours ago..
Put make-up on: My trademark eyeliner, this morning;)
Ride a bike: Weeks ago;\




WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO YOU?

Your family: The people who invade my room;p
Your home: Where I am at the end of the day..
Your friends: The people who make me smile:)
Yourself: An amethyst in the process of being shaped for a ring..
Your birthday: The day I was born?
Your bedroom: My place to think which is frequently used as a living room;\
Your car: I don't have a car of my own.
Your mobile: Reaching out to people..
Your PC/laptop: Access to things I love, esp. music..
Blogging: The most suitable outlet:)
Money: A necessity



RIGHT NOW

Eating: Nothing, I'd rather not eat;\
Thinking: I <3>Smelling: No sense of smell;\
Watching: A hort film posted on F.'s blog;)
Listening to: Clocks - Coldplay
Feeling: Drowsy -> Migraine deprived me of sleep;(
Wearing: PJ bottoms and a tank top
Waiting for: Too many things:)
Hating: My migraine?
Missing: J
Loving: I don't feel like long lists;p
Worried about: Someone
Planning: To sleep off the migraine;\
Annoyed with: My migraine




MENTION TWO THINGS THAT

Make you happy: Someone I love is happy + Sleeping well:)
That you're obsessed with: Fixing people's hair/eyebrows + Reading
Make you sad: Helplessness + Feeling lost
You hate: My migraine + Madry;\
You're doing: Listening to music + Talking to my bro
You like to eat: Pasta + Ice cream
Smell Bad: Cheap perfume + Raw fish
That we probably dont know about you: I eat pizza with my hands + I feel naked if I'm not wearing a ring
That you did today: Screwed up a midterm + ran a red light;\
That are dangerous: Running a red light + Jumping off a building?
That you're good at: Reading thoroughly + Witty comebacks
That hurt: Being blown off/Feeling unappreciated + Betrayal (including being kept in the dark)



RANDOM

Tell us something your "3ax el nas" about: I don't brush my hair or tweeze my eyebrows.
Can you play any instruments? Not anymore, no;\
List four things that you are less than 3 meters away from: The book I'm currently reading, the red teddy bear HAJS got me (his name is Cincinnatus today), my phone, and one of my two Banksy books <3
Have you ever been told you look like someone, if yes, who? Kristen Bell, Jennifer Garner, Maram, my mom, my dad, and the list goes on and on..;\
Are you enjoying this tag? Not really;p
What bad habits do you have? I don't brush my hair. I walk away from things when I'm pissed. I bite my nails when I'm pensive, worried, or helpless. Etc.
If you could have one day being the opposite gender, what would you do ? Check myself out as a girl;p
Worst thing that has happened to you this year: I'd rather not:)
What's your current Habba Song? Mmm.. Wonderful - India Arie
Any last words? Balqees, never again;p

Overwhelming Silence

---

A: What is it?

Amethyst: *shrugs*

A: You brought me here, so you could sit on the floor and stare through the wall?

Amethyst: I don't know. I thought I had something to say.

A: Talk to me

Amethyst: I said I thought I had something to say. Doesn't that mean I really had nothing to say?

A: You tell me

Amethyst: I don't know. I guess I don't.

A: Don't cry

Amethyst: I don't cry.

A: Whatever you say

Amethyst: You know, my friend lent me a hilariously funny book.

A: And?

Amethyst: It's funny?

A: Okay. You're crying. This is not working. You can't cry and talk about a funny book.

Amethyst: Really? Watch me.

A: Khebla. Are you challenging yourself?

Amethyst: No, I'm betraying it.

A: And why are you doing that?

Amethyst: I wasn't doing it intentionally, and I'm stuck now. That's the book on top of that pile..

A: You're stuck?

Amethyst: Trapped?

A: Be brutally honest. I won't bite.

Amethyst: I never said you would.

A: What's going on?

Amethyst: I wish I could tell you. You weren't there when it first started. And me telling you now.. Well, it would just be a waste of time. You can't help. You know?

A: No, I don't know. I can always help. We both know that.

Amethyst: Not in this case. I feel like I don't need any of this.

A: This?

Amethyst: This equals everything I have or am living.. Everything. Just everything, kel shay.

A: Why are you giving up on yourself?

Amethyst: I'm not. I'm giving up on expecting things to work out the way I want them to. For a kid who didn't like fairy tales, I should've learned that happy endings aren't for real.

A: You already knew that.

Amethyst: Every single time? They're never there..

A: Really? What if-

Amethyst: No what ifs, remember?

A: Right.

Amethyst: Can we just sit here in silence?

A: Of course

Counting Sheep

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

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Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

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I miss blogging. I have so much to say but no time to say it. It's quite frustrating. I'm drained. On the other hand..

I'm finally done with all the responses and papers due for the whole semester!;D

Moving on...

A question for our fellow males:

Do you believe in "The Feminine Mystery?"

---

I love my younger brother. He's such a sweetheart. Every time I feel down, he finds ways to make me feel better without me even telling him that I'm not okay. At times, he just knows that I don't feel like talking, so he simply spends time with me in my room being silly. When I stay up late working, he stays up with me, commenting on what I write and coming up with comic relief. Because I'm so busy these days, I've realized that he's the one who misses me the most. 7bbi;*

---

Amethyst: You guys, I need to change. Yalla, leave wela abadel jedamkum.

Friend: Amethyst, hatha elazrag 7ag sheno?

Amethyst: Eye cream, ma et3arfeen tegrain? Enzain 6el3aw bara balbes!

Friend: Once wela twice a day?

Amethyst: Twice. 6el3aw.

Friend2 *holding up a pair of shoes*: Are you going to wear these?

Amethyst: Mm, madry. I'll let you know when I'm dressed! Yalla, leave! We're late!

Friend2 *holding up another pair of shoes*: Enzain hathaila ra7 talbeseenhum?!

Amethyst: Madry, 6el3aw bara albes w ba3dain agoulech!

Friend: Khanrou7 chalet next week.. Meta etkhalsoun dawam?

Friend2: Ana ma 3endi shay w 3adi akshet.

Amethyst: Wednesday, but I have finals after that. Would you guys leave?

Friend: Ee, bas manabi wayed nass khanrou7 bas e7na..

*Amethyst starts undressing*

Friends: HEY! SHGA3ED ETSAWEEN?!

Amethyst: 9arli sena agoulekum 6el3aw balbes, madry 3ankum etha you mind or not!

Friends: Oh, enzain 3adi khalseena we're late!

---

Randomly:

I miss J;*

I'm growing my hair out.

Banksy's identity is revealed.

My mom thinks I'm getting too thin.

Sleep deprived

I'm considering working during Ramadan, since I have no school. Any suggestions?

The weather is torture without beach.

Ice cream all the way

Pissed at society

...

;$

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

---

I've been getting a lot of casual gifts lately.

I got two copies of what I call The Banksy Book, one from Sou and one from a special someone that shall not be named.

I got Amethyst by Lalique from H and J, and I absolutely love it although I thought it smelled crappy when I first tried it at the mall;p

*Cat sent me this pic

So, thanks for surprising me. It made my hellish days a lot better. Love you;*

---

Randomly:

My rash is much better.

Never tell anyone that you know someone with three nipples.

The smell of cigarettes makes me high.

I love my friends. I don't know what I'd do without them.

When you feel down, always think of the best memories even if they make you cry.

Banksy is amazing.

Books are the best thing to lose yourself in.

Being happy and sad at the same time is possible.

Heartaches aren't only emotional.

Life is wickedly strange.

I love my phone.

I just realized that I can only go without rice for a while even if it's a really long while. I crave rice!

I'm losing weight without doing anything, and I keep needing to get new jeans;\

I need more time to read.

I should stop being so evil.

Although I'm sleeping better, I'm sleeping less.

I need a break from everything. I have one more paper to go, and I can't seem to concentrate enough to work on it.

I love the smell of the sea.

I'm craving cake. The one my friends call the old-fashioned cake..

Enzain bas mali khelg I type;\

Marx

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

---

The Transcendental Female*

She could not help but feel excited about reading something she can completely relate to. She wakes up early Friday morning to the page she opened her photocopied package to last night. She has always had a feminist in her, and that led her to believe that every female is born with that side. As a female grows, she either submits to the patriarchal society she lives in, or she nurtures the feminist within and takes on the challenge other women have started before her.
The introduction of the assigned reading triggers her already established annoyance for fairy tales. Since she turned four, her parents have been subjected to an interrogation after reading her such stories. Why does it always have to be the prince who picks the princess? Why can't the princess save herself? Why isn't there a monster instead of a witch? Her parents have soon given up and bought her books that were not fairy tales. Stories she can read alone without having to interrogate them, but she always found someone to ask. Her uncle has become the usual victim. Soon, he introduced her to the world of Hans Christian Andersen, where there is only a subliminal partially dangerous happily ever after.
As the reading gets more and more interesting, she realizes that she is merely reading beliefs she has previously attacked from all sides before defending in her somewhat opposing society. She has argued that marriage should not be a female's ultimate social goal in countless gatherings. Women should know themselves and feel complete before allowing the presence of a man. She remembers all her friends who have been done wrong by men only to become a shame to the female race by exclaiming that they might not be able to find a man closer to perfect that the one that has made them feel worthless. It is true what her wiser female relatives say, all men are really just one man.
She agrees that gender discrimination spread through religion. After all, the most popular books are holy ones, and what do these advocate? The infamous Biblical story that blames Eve for the fall of humanity and the theory that Eve was created from one of Adam's ribs are only a couple. Furthermore, people do not question stories presented religiously; therefore, they believe them and blindly advocate them whether they are true or altered to suit male dominance.
Proud that she knows most of the names that are considered leading feminist activists, she is even more proud that these women unite in the idea that women should be equal to men, regardless of their background and lifestyle. She really believes that if that goal is accomplished, and it will take centuries, the world would be a better place. Women will learn to live a life that will contribute "to the world of reality and not to the world of men."
She giggles at the idea that she is a "madwoman in the attic" to male chauvinists. What would all the sexist critics they have previously discussed in class think of this? It is a theory that disputes them all. Women to them are inferior to men, but in this theory, the script is definitely balanced if not flipped.
She smiles as she finishes the reading, realizing that feminists are wrongly perceived as haters of men. They do not hate men; they just despise those who think they have the right to take away their freedom of choice of lifestyle because of their gender. She seats herself before a blank document and places her female hands to type a response entitled The Transcendental Female. For once, she does not leave the title for last.

*One of my theory assignments for Z and N.

Outline: Deconstructing Andersen

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

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I wish I could spend the weekend sleeping, reading, and watching movies.

---

More adventures in class with Sou

*Amethyst hasn't slept for more than twenty four hours and has been working her behind off to get things in before deadlines. Class is extremely boring.*

Sou: Amethyst?

Amethyst: Hmm? Hmm? What?

Sou *staring at Amethyst*: You look like you fell asleep.

Amethyst: I did... with my eyes open.

Sou: Did you know that Khaldeya have big ants? Which means they have bigger asses, and you can see them!

Amethyst: I don't want to know.

*The example being discussed in class for analyzing felicity conditions is "There is an ant coming towards you."*

Sou: If an ant was coming towards me, I'd be like: "Hello, what color is your thong today?"

Amethyst: LOL!

---

What is the Kuwaiti equivalent of the word cute?

The Perverted Freud

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

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[WARNING] MAJOR RANT AHEAD!

I am so frustrated. Seriously. Two bad days in a row! Two very crappy draining days in a row.

Day 1.

I oversleep but insist that I look good for school. So, I make the effort of wearing something nice. I go to school to have my professor gasp at me not starting the research writing process for one of my classes. Then, he gives us something to make thirty five word notes on for five marks. Seriously?

I spent the rest of my school day worry about projects, midterms, and papers. Then, I spent the day after the school day to do what? Worry about my three best friends who are all going through some kind of shite. Add to all that worrying, three hours of barfing a McDonald's meal while crying because I'm scared shitless of throwing up, working on a paper until past midnight, and arguing with my mother on which social obligations I should attend this week.

Day 2.

I set my alarm for 4.30am, so I can study for my Earth & Universe midterm which is in Arabic. Because I'm absolutely drained, I silence the alarm while I'm asleep. Hmm.. Let's see what that insignificant event does to the rest of the day. Because I shut off the alarm, I couldn't reset it to wake up for my morning class. I wake up at 7.40am. I fall off my bed from the end that is opposite of the pillows. My class is at 8am. I grab clothes from off the floor and put them on. I rush out of the house. I forgot to print the paper I stayed up working on. Fun, isn't it?

I get to class at 8.30am. Professor asks me for the title of my topic. I didn't choose a topic, Sir. He gasps again and tells me to give him "a definite title tomorrow without fail." Then, he reminds me that outlines are due on Thursday. And the paper is due on the 27th. Deep breath.

I leave the class to study for the midterm, but I can't concentrate because of all the stuff I have to do. I go to class, present an oral progress report on a project, leave early, print my paper at the jam3eya, and head to Khaldeya to take my midterm. I submit my paper and get an exam paper in return. I look it over... SEVENTY FREAKIN' QUESTION TO DO IN LESS THAN AN HOUR. Mu sij! Oh, and the professor kept reminding me not to write in English. I didn't do well at all. I wrote half of the answers in English. Example of question and answer:

Q: Ma heya elnjoum elsayara?

A: They move.

Anyways, done with the exam, absolutely pissed. I get the midterm result for my favorite class ever. I know I could've aced it, but I didn't because I was having a bad day that day. And now, here I am. Afraid to eat in case I puke, working on choosing a topic and starting an outline, worrying about a response I have to submit before Thursday, and thinking of how much of a bitch I've been for not being able to be there fully for my friends.

And to top it all off, I think I've added one of the worst feelings ever to my list of worst feelings. Here it is:

It's when you really want something for someone you love, but they can't seem to have it, and you can't do anything about it. Basically, it's being helpless knowing that if only you could do something, you wouldn't think about it twice even if it cost you the world. But at the end of the day, there's nothing that you can do..

*SIGH*

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

---

Now, I know why I can't concentrate enough to blog... BECAUSE I CAN'T CONCENTRATE ENOUGH TO DO ANYTHING RIGHT!;O

Snippets, and I'll leave the commenting to you:

I fell this morning because I forgot that there were steps.

At an attempt to refill my bottle with water from the fountain, I dropped my phone, then poured water all over the floor, my phone's shattered pieces, and my friend's head and arm, unintentionally because I forgot for a moment that the bottle was in my hand.

Mom: Pass the salt.
Me: Mu yami..
Mom: Amethyst, pass the salt, kaho jedamech!
Me: Mako salt!
Mom: JEDAMECH!
Me: Wain salt?! Mashoof salt!
*Mom stares at me blankly*
*I stare at the table before me and realize that the salt is RIGHT in front of me.*

Bro: I waited for you, so we could eat together.
Me: I'm not eating, now.
Bro: Yeah, but I waited.
Me: For what?
Bro: For you to come home, so we could eat together.
Me: Why would we eat together?
Bro: Because we both didn't have lunch?
Me: Yeah, but you have lunch at one.
Bro: Amethyst, I didn't eat at one, so I could eat with you.
Me: Yeah, but why are you eating twice?

While driving, I realized that I was singing something different to what was playing because I thought it was the song that was playing.

After being very late to class, I noticed that I left my book in the car that I just came from.

I'm oversleeping everday, but when I look at the time and panic, I get out of bed from the other end: not the sides, the end opposite to the pillows.

Mixing up names of people I see daily multiple times in one utterance!

I think I need a chill pill..

Wall & Piece

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

---

My urge to blog is half dead.

---

So, this morning I went to the clinic to check on something, and I'm not big on going to doctors unless it's the dentist. I have this fear of heading to the clinic all alone. Don't ask. It's just there. Anyway, so I went and asked for a female doctor, but I got a male doctor instead. I had to go back to the reception and emphasize that I wanted a female doctor. So, I got annoyed that I wasn't given much importance the first time I asked.

In the waiting area, people kept turning to see if the number flashing on the screen changed everytime the elevator ding-dong sound rang out. You just heard the frickin' sound that tells you that the number changed! It's a prolonged beep not a ding-dong! Testahbeloun?! Everything was ten times more annoying because I was freaking out.

When it was finally my turn, I stepped in, and the doctor was... scary? She looked plastic. She had bright orange nails! And when I explained to her that I had a rash and what not, she got up to lock the door, so I could take off my shirt and show her the rash. I had images of her scraping it off with her long bright orange nails.

I think that was the very last time I go to see a doctor alone. Seriously. Annoyances and suspense multiplies and add to my nonsensical phobia. It's just not okay. I need to breathe.

An Uncomforting Rash

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

---

A girl is parked at a cafe next to her college. She sits in her car, her friend accompanying her in the passenger seat. They're waiting for a friend. The friend parks next to them. Why bother getting a table at the cafe when she has to run an errand and come back again? They'll just say good morning in the car. Her friend joins them and sits in the back seat. They start talking. It won't take long. The friend has class in a bit.

A police car parks behind her. The cop leans on her window. She brings it down. He asks for their IDs. They hand over their IDs. He asks the friend to leave the car. He gives them a lecture on morality and ethics. He threatens to drag them to the police office and get them expelled from university. He insists that if their fathers found out, they would slap them senseless. Apparently, they are violating their religion. Apparently, they are violating the laws of their country. Apparently, the cop is not a hypocrite. She sits there, taking control of her anger to make sure they pull through.

Two girls and a guy parked in public to say good morning and have a chat. Infidels. Shame on them. Shame. How dare they? How can they look past their respectable families? How can they think it normal to do such a thing? A scandal! That's what it is. Shame.

Since when is saying good morning a violation?

Warmth

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

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God works in strange strange strange ways.

Opium

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

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Talking about how our mothers used to dress us and what outfits we kept...



D: I have this outfit from when I was like three...

Amethyst: IT STILL FITS?! *Pause* No..

---

I've been busy these past few days, but I haven't been blogging because I don't have anything to say. I think my theory class is becoming too much of an outlet on different levels.

So, umm.. I still have nothing to say.

Readers, be informed that I will be away basking under the sun at an exclusive beach house until Sunday. You'd better miss me.

Nothing to say. *Rolls eyes*

I can't think.

Note: I've been working on this post since I posted my last post. Mu embayen, but I promise you, it's true. This must be the suckiest post here ever, but I'm keeping it;p