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Almost all of my writing is from a female's perpective. From what I've posted on Poshlust, only this piece of writing is from a male perspective. So, as an attempt to challenge me, A has asked me to write a first person male narration.
I run the razor over my chin repeatedly. At the back of my head, there's music playing: "If I said I was sorry, would you forget the things I've done? I don't know why I even worry. I don't believe in anyone."*
I stare at the reflection in the mirror. A face haunted by its past. Yes, my face. My past. I think of sliding the razor across my neck... the wrong way. My stare pierces through my reflection, and I wonder why the mirror doesn't shatter. My thought is reflected in my eyes. Isn't a thought of suicide strong enough to shatter a mirror? Its abnormality is dense. Dense enough to squeeze some beats out of my heart. Yet, my reflection doesn't flinch. Not at all. Not even when a series of flashbacks occur before my eyes.
I see shadows moving in the mirror. I can't make them out clearly. I stare at them, scrutinizing. A lot of movement. I can't keep track. I can't make out the action. Too much movement. I can't comprehend anything. Suddenly, there's a splatter of blood. A grey pitter patter of drops of blood landing on the mirror rings in my ear.
I shudder. Cold washes over me. The flashbacks are suddenly clear. It takes blood to remember blood. As I glance down at the razor in my hand, I realize that I'm done with shaving. I splash water over my face, hoping to get rid of the images that will distract me for the rest of the day.
As I close the door of the bathroom, I realize that I'm neither inside nor outside. I'm trapped. I also realize that there really wasn't blood or the sound of the drops hitting the mirror. Then what is it that seemed so real? They can't just be flashbacks?
The reflection didn't flinch, but the man standing before that reflection did.
*Killing Man - Jack Savoretti
21 comments:
amazing
i can never do that
think like a man
Eshda3wa
Hehe, like how you put it!
I don't think men are that deep, they are as shallow as barbies. I think you gave the man that you were trying to envisage more intellectualism than he deserves.
*FourMe going through hating men phase*
FourMe
They are that deep. Not all, of course. There are shallow men like there shallow women.
I'm always going through a hating men phase;)
I resent that, fourme. Not all men are shallow.
Lol, I'm sorry you're going through that phase. Ben & Jerry's helps. A LOT.
Great post Ame's. Loved the ending! Love where this is going. Hope there's a part 2... ;)
The Archer
Thanks.
There never is a part 2. Guess the reason;)
veeeeeeeeeery amazing
zay ma galt eshd3wa i too can never think like a man
If I said I was sorry, would you forget the things I've done? I don't know why I even worry. I don't believe in anyone." <<< loved this the best
Balqees
It's not that hard.
That's from the song mentioned at the bottom of the post:)
Its a woman's perspective.
Men dont think that way.
Its not about depth, that you missed the perspective, its about so many parameters of men, that are lost in your narration.
~ Soul
I don't know about you ladies going through hating men phases, but i know of some ladies who have the balance to understand what men are, without hating.
It takes a level of maturity, when one realizes that hatred would benefit them nothing.
Think !
~ Soul
P.S: To generalize is to be a fool.
Âme
Not all the parameters have to be there. You don't know if there is a man out there who thinks this way.
I am not able to include all that is in a man in one narration. I lack that ability.
Hating men is a women's think. Don't take it literally.
And we never said anything about hating all men:)
wooooooooooooow
creative !
Cat
:)
What i mean to say, is the narration is MOSTLY a woman's perspective.
If such a man exists too, who thinks like how you narrated, he would be MOSTLY womanly.
The idea of this post, i suppose is to narrate a man's perspective, isn't it ?
Empathizing with opposite gender can get really tough, when you are narrating thoughts.
~ Soul
P.S: Reference frames can be shifted, however, the relative points invariably remain the same.
So, does your narration. Period.
WOW! That's amazing. Kinda hard to think it came out from a man though..
Btw, I love your writing!
Also as you said. There are deep men as there are deep women. There are shallow men as there are shallow women, etc...
You get where i'm going with this?
Amethyst:
No dear they are not, there might be a small percentage of men in this whole world that are deep but definitely not the majority.
the archer:
dear I know not 100% of all men are shallow but hence the hating men line at the bottom of the quote which in fact justifies the statement that was above it.
Ame:
Sometimes ppl generalise because they don't want to look in depth into every statement or action in details and depict it and take it down too pieces to analyse it.
And I agree with amethyst "hating men is a women thing" you wouldn't understand it until you become one of us..
Fourme,
I understand about generalization.
I wrote a paper on it.
Hating men 'thing' is a cumulative effect i guess of experiences a woman goes throughout her life, about how men affected her.
I guess the overall effect is much closer to resent or hatred.
As you said, i can never comprehend precisely what a woman thoughts are about men.
~ Soul
amethyst, that was written extremely well. however, the only part of it that seemed manly was the shaving part. not that the thoughts were womanly or anything. they were just thoughts.
basically, if you removed the shaving part, and your into, no one could tell if the narrator was a man or a woman.
it was still beautiful to read, and i'm sorry to criticize :)
you have outdone your self! tres tres poshlusty :p
but this does give you a perspective of men and because we women do have a harder life than men, we seem to disregard the hardships they face when measuring it to ours...wow tht was very deep of me, shraych :p
Âme
Since this is strictly your opinion, I won't argue today because I'm too exhausted.
:)
Ruby Woo
Try talking to a man who killed someone.. or not?
Thank you.
And yes, I do see where you're going..
FourMe
You'd be surprised, darling.
I hope I meet you one day. That way I can introduce you to "deep" men:)
Frogman
Never be sorry you criticized any of my work. It matters to me that you do. I take it into consideration no matter how stubborn I appear.
Women look at their reflections differently while standing in front of a mirror.
They deal with flashbacks differently, too.
That is, of course, in my perspective.
This is my first attempt. We'll see how I grow into it later:)
Thanks!
Eulalia
Merci!;p
As a woman, and a female chauvinst who will bark down any woman's/man's throat when her gender is attacked, I still think that men and women's hardships balance out equally. I mean, it takes us longer to look good, but it takes them more effort to impress us. And you take it from there..;)
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